Half and half

I meant to post while I was on the overground coming home from work some time ago

I was reading this book…tempImageForSave

It’s a really interesting book which raises so many issues, some in particular struck a chord with me… that of the experience of mixed race children.

‘Jessica’ speaks to Eddo-Lodge about being mixed race…

“I’ve had these feeling about my identity and I’ve just pushed them down, deep down, and I do think they have affected my mental well-being”

“There are people thinking that you’re half and half, that you can only be stuck between two worlds”

 

 

phew!

It’s been a busy time – the play I was working on came to an end and it takes it out of you.

I’ve since spent time decompressing, catching up with me and mine.

I went to the south of France to visit some galleries I’d wanted to see, took endless photos of a high-ceilinged French apartment and put films on at night so it wouldn’t seem so empty. I took a train along the coast and sat by a private pool (thanks to a wonderful actor in the play!) and just drank coffee and wrote in my diary.

For the most part only speaking to waiters, baristas, ticket officers and one guy on a bus when I realised I’d missed my stop!

I thought of Mum encouraging me to “go on adventures” like she had done especially when she first came over and wanted to see Europe, sometimes with the other nurses sometimes on her own.

I just called her…

Why did you go?

“To see places !”

 

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“Deep and tender devotion”

The play I’m working on at the moment is set on a geriatric ward in an English hospital… it’s the new Alan Bennett play ALLELUJAH!

Mum worked on geriatric psychiatric wards, when I’m listening to the dialogue or the songs of the play backstage… or catch a glimpse on the monitor, I think of her and how she really cared for her patients.

Pearl of the orient

I think a few SE Asian countries/ cities can claim this nickname but when I was growing up it was how I knew The Philippines

Just found this old short film, most of Mum’s photos of her growing up were destroyed in a typhoon so it’s nice to see film of that time – even if the narration is erm… of that time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS89r3kfpyc

NWLDN and OFWs

I haven’t posted in a while.

I’ve been working on a play at Hampstead theatre which is in the area I grew up in. There were quite a few Filipinos around when I was growing up, but I didn’t really know any of them. Mum would sometimes stop in the street and chat to Filipino strangers or there’d always been an acknowledgement, a nod, a smile if no conversation.

Some were NHS nurses, some working in other hospital departments and some were private/domestic workers.

It’s a wealthy area of NWLondon, and I knew that when some people looked at my Mum they assumed she was a domestic worker and it bothered me, I don’t know why because it’s such a hard job raising someone else’s children.

It was only when I was older I found out that so many OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) had children of their own that they’d left behind in The Philippines and that’s who they were working for.

Anthony Bourdain talked about this in one of his episodes of No Reservations.

I’m so sad about his death, he really encouraged us to explore other cultures through food and travel really championed the uniqueness of Filipino cuisine…

https://dailymotion.com/video/x4mia0y

 

 

 

 

something else

I bought this book YEARS ago when I thought about doing this project.

It’s called Woven Memories and it’s full of written accounts of Filipinos who left The Philippines and came to the UK to work.

It’s a great insight into the migrant experience. To suddenly become an immigrant changes how the world sees you, how people treat you.

Some of the accounts are humorous, others heartbreaking. But the fact that this book existed and you could hear these voices was just very moving.

Reading it though I did think OH SHIT! this story HAS been told before and it put me off making a start. I just thought I’m not being original what’s the point?

But I did think I would do it differently. I just wanted to see these women up close – take their photo – have their daughters in the photo with them.

The line of women.

So now years later I feel like there IS a point and I’m just trying to create something else.

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the process

I’m sharing the process, that’s what I have to keep telling myself.

I’m racing towards these portraits I want to take but I haven’t even met the people!

I have no idea if anyone will be up for it

Last night was lovely actually asking Mum how she felt in that moment a photo was taken, cos I’ve always imagined or assumed one thing or another. I’ve also asked if she minds me telling her story and using her photos and she doesn’t at all : )

When I asked her what she thought England would be like and she said “Cold!”

I immediately thought of this photo of her loving the snow

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Mother’s day

Well today is the best day to start telling Mum’s story.

Sometimes I call her Mum and sometimes Mama – I’m half Filpina half English it’s the influence of two cultures I suppose.

Leaving her family and the country she grew up in must have been a heady mix of excitement and WTF am I doing?!

I just asked Mum what she felt in this photo “Excitement and emotion… it’s a good adventure for me – first time out of the country”

… What did she think England would be?

“Cold!”

Manila International Airport (MIA) February 1969

Boarding for London Heathrow (LHR)

it’s a start

It’s taken me three days to start typing

I am meant to do this project and tell this story. But I’ve never really known where to start.

I’m definitely a visual person so this story will be told in photos – Mum’s old photos, our family photos and hopefully other Filipinas and their family photos.

And then if all goes well there’ll be photos I’ll take along the way.